Back in the days when humans and animals were on speaking terms, George Washington and Thomas Jefferson wanted to destroy the metric system. The two friends went to see the Old Monkey, who was the wisest of the animals, to get advice.
"Why do you want to get rid of the metric system?" asked the Old Monkey, "What is wrong with it?"
"In metric units the values of the natural constants are garbage," said George Washington. "The gravitation constant, for instance, is 6.673… × 10-11 in metric units—we think it should be a flat 10-15."
"Right," chimed in Thomas Jefferson, "and the speed of light is 299,792,458—we think it should simply be ten million."
"And it would be easier if the frequency of one temperature degree, which is 1.309205… × 1011 in metric units," George Washington continued, "were just 1015."
"I see," said the Old Monkey. "The frequency of one electron volt, which in metric terms is 1.5192676... × 1015, should be, let us say, 1017?
"You get the idea," said George Washington. And the two men waited to see what the Old Monkey would say.
"It seems to me," said the Old Monkey after a while, "that a system in which the fundamental constants are that ugly does not have much future in any case. You don't have to do anything—just wait and it will drop off like the dead limb of a tree."
The two friends waited to see if the Old Monkey would say anything else.
"Just be sure," the Old Monkey finally added, "that when the branch breaks nothing you care about is resting on it."
*
Copyright © 2002 Leonard Cottrell. All rights reserved.
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